My Healthy Green Juice Recipe

My Healthy Green Juice Recipe


Hey guys!

Since we’re all constantly reminded by society that we’re not perfect enough and that our bodies should look or be a certain way, I have now found a solution to get that society-approved body! And what’s one of the best ways to get that body? JUICE!

In this post I’ll be imparting a super-secret recipe for a juice that I make and drink every day! It’s magical, wonderful and oh so easy to make!

Here are the ingredients and steps to make yourself a big glass of healthy green juice:

  1. People’s opinions on how your body should be/look like

One of the easiest ingredients to obtain! Opinions are found everywhere therefore it’s easy to get hold of them. I personally prefer dead and sun-dried opinions as it gets extremely salty, just like the people it came from.

Take 2 cups of opinions, and crush it using a mortar, exactly like how you should be crushing these people up. Crush it till it’s almost powdered.

  1. Self-confidence

Self-confidence is one of those items that is always found in the kitchen but rarely used. So hitch your pants up and search for it! If you don’t find it, you could always borrow it from a friend.

Take 3 table spoons of self-confidence and mix it with water till it turns into a paste-like mixture that is as smooth as you

  1. Phrases like “should you be wearing that for your body-type?”

Phrases are actually weeds that thrive well during summer. These are plucked and thrown out with garbage. Rummage around a department store’s trashcan to get a handful of these!

Cut the head and tail of these phrases and chop them finely, because weeds are like people and they need to be chopped up with a sharp knife

  1. Self-love

Self-love seeds come in tiny packets. They’re like candy that you can carry around in your purse and pop them into your mouth whenever!

Place around 4 to 5 packets of self-love seeds in a bowl of water till it swells into big globes on absorbing all the water, just like how you imbibe all your flaws

  1. Jokes targeting your body

The cheapest ingredient that you can find anywhere and everywhere! You can find them growing on the roadside. It’s so common that it would be unusual if you don’t spot a bunch of these as soon as you step out of your house.

Take as many jokes as you require. It depends on how zesty you want your drink to be. Squeeze them all, one by one, just like how you’d squeeze out the person who planted these jokes’ eyeballs

  1. Hatred and Jealousy

The final ingredients that are quite hard to get because they hide in plain sight. You’ve just got to look hard!

You don’t need much though. Just a pinch of hatred, followed by a pinch of jealousy. Jealousy’s the one that gives the juice a pretty green tint

Once you’ve got and readied all your ingredients, blend them all together. Pour the juice into a tall and wide glass as it makes it easier for people to see what you’re drinking, which in turn makes them start commenting about the juice. Now take these comments and sprinkle them onto your juice to give it that final kick of flavour!

There you go guys, that’s my recipe for a wholesome and healthy green juice! Do try it out and let me know how it goes!


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