“Girls! Boys like it when you do the thing that you really hate doing!”
“Here are 10 ways to utterly change yourself to snatch the man of your dreams!”
“Must-try ridiculous concoctions for the female body to attract the male species!”
“Ladies! Be yourself! Love yourself! No, not your way, follow OUR way to do it!”
You guys must have seen these headlines or titles in the media, so let me go ahead with a different example:
So I’m on this social media site, just chilling and scrolling, when I came upon a post comparing a woman with a septum piercing to a cow, with the caption “What it actually looks like”. There was another post, this time titled “Girls, us men don’t like it when you do crap like this”.
And no, it doesn’t stop there! There were many more posts, with some people complaining about how women wearing too much make-up, getting nail-art done or having tattoos all over their body makes them “less desirable” to men.
OK, you boys, my dear cis-het boys, need to sit your butt down and listen to me:
- We don’t dress up and apply make-up FOR YOU. Shocking, isn’t it?
- Piercings, tattoos, nail-art, extreme make-up, again, NOT FOR YOU.
And most importantly,
- We don’t owe how we look to you, or anyone for that matter
Ever entertained the thought that maybe, just maybe, we do this for ourselves? No you haven’t, why? Because everything is about you. Your heads are so far up your butt, it’s a wonder that you can even form coherent thoughts. The sooner you accept this, the better it is for your ego. Ever since the beginning of time, every single thing was made to be “about the boys/for the boys”. Not anymore.
Not only are we women a target for body-shaming, but now we can’t do what we like without the validation of a bunch of people who’ve probably never been out of their rooms, much less with their hands out their pants (generalisation: doesn’t feel so good, right? Okay when men do it, but an instant outrage when women do it). The famous phrase (as my fellow Indians will know) “What will people think?” is just a cover-up for “boys won’t like it”
And yes, I blame women too. I blame the fact that internalised misogyny is so high within our groups, that we feed off of it without our knowledge, that it’s become completely normal to slut-shame and call out other women for their personal style. Don’t you see, they win through us! We need to stop. The hate that I see from a woman saddens me because in this current society, we need each other’s support and empowerment more than ever. What’s worse is that the hate stems from the fact that some women think we do what we do for the men. Rather than taking each other down, lift each other up and show them who’s boss!
First of all, people need to get rid of the notion that anything and everything a woman does is for a man. When will men, women, and all the magazines realize that we do all this FOR OURSELVES? Women apply makeup, colour their hair, get piercings and tattoos, ride bikes, cuss out loud, not to appeal to the male species but rather because THEY LIKE TO DO IT? If all of this were for men, then the whole world would turn into a mating ground all year round!
I would like to conclude by saying that this post is not specifically for girls, it is for all the people who’ve had their sense of style questioned in regards to a man’s personal taste.
All I’m saying is, you do you and keep doing you.